What the hell this is

I've seen this hideous amalgamation of discombobulated textile regurgitation at least ten times since Friday, both in person and on television.

And I absolutely must know... what the fuck is it called, where the fuck did it come from, and when the fuck will it be returning?

Some fairness out of the universe.

Why is it okay for this douche to screw us out of money he owes us, but it's not okay for us to do the same to him?

You used the power in this house, asswipe, used way more than the two of us combined I'll bet, and you're refusing to pay for the third I'm asking for... yet because he's a good guy, David to refuses to take from you what you owe us.

...

My roommate, who will read this, is refusing to pay his share of the July power bill, but is insisting we pay him back for his share of the washer and dryer. David said he would gladly pay for the washer and dryer if Adam will pay him back for the stool David bought for the pub set (the set came with two stools and there are three of us), and then there's STILL the matter of the power bill. My solution? Take the stool AND the washer and dryer and call it even.

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddddd... this just in...

David's just spent the past forty minutes in Adam's room and walked out with cash, saying Adam will give him more tomorrow... WTF just happened?


UPDATE:

See post dated 10/19.

People who will burn in Hell

And Michael Vick is at the top of my fucking list.

But wait, there's more.

It's not enough that this abusive bastard got to do what he did to those poor dogs and live to tell about it, but now, apparently, the NFL is letting him back in.

Spot number two is now occupied.

How the FUCK does that happen, people? How the FUCK does that asshole get to kill, maim, and abuse dozens of dogs - animals who exist only to be loving and devoted COMPANIONS to your sorry fucking ass - and STILL get to make millions upon millions of dollar playing fucking football?

Where's the justice in that? How can you let that happen Mr. NFL? This man, upon whom the world should only look with disdain and disgust, who should be literally spit upon everyday for the rest of his life, who should be torn apart limb from limb by the very animals he so GROSSLY mistreated, is now being allowed a position of possible respect and hero worship? What the FUCK kind of message is that sending to the public, to the twelve year old who will now watch Dogkiller Vick with admiration in his eyes? JoeBlow Fuckup in Florida horribly mutilates seventy or so cats and now he's incarcerated, but I bet if that little asshole could throw a pigskin or hit a fucking baseball we'd all be giving him another chance.

And I don't care if "we're talking about a young man's life here." You fucked up. You should be forced to clean toilets with your fucking tooth brush for the rest of your life, and then forced to repeatedly watch reels of the dogs for which you demonstrated such HEINOUS disregard suffer AT YOUR OWN HANDS.

You do not deserve a second chance.

This is ridiculous, ree-GODDAMN-diculous.

We as a nation already put sporting events and sporting clubs before academics and education (don't get me started), and NOW, NOW, we're putting a man's ability to THROW AND CATCH A FUCKING BALL before the LIVES AND WELL BEING OF DEFENSELESS ANIMALS...

My God people, what's next? Yeah he raped and murdered that hooker, but he throws a mean curve ball. We'll let him back in.

Fuck you Mr. NFL.

Fuck you and fuck the sport you have so immensely disgraced.

Almost getting caught.

IT was up for 24 hours before he asked about my blog.
Hmmmm, while he says he didn't read it, I think he might have. I don't know if I care or not yet.

If you really wanna read it, because obviously it's not up anymore, just e-mail me.

If, of course, you're not a figment of my imagination.

Total agreement

I never thought I'd see the day...

Loathe as I am to admit, I agree with this guy.

Why is it okay to take the money and run? Take my money and run to a house in the Hamptons?

Why don't more people care, have respect for those they serve?

Oh, yes, high-rise Corporate America, I'm talking to you. You serve your stockholders, and now that you're operating on government funds, you serve me.

Where's your humility? Where's your compassion? Where's your "give a fuck?"

Huh?

Fiscal Responsibilty

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me with this shit?

Honestly people. Honestly!

How much money do you need? How many cars, houses, jets, country club memberships, dominatrices do you have to have?!

A dirt bag.

Is a dirtbag is a dirtbag.

This guy:

Is a dirtbag. Not a hero, not an idol, not of any importance anymore whatsoever.

You, my young stupid, stupid, jerkoff friend are a dirtbag.

And by God if he doesn't loose a few endorsments over this I'll be one pissed puppy.

A humongous grossout.

If you insist on dipping in public, please have the polite foresight to dispose of your unwanted, chunky brown saliva in something other a clear plastic bottle.

Please?

Heroic Standards of American Citizens

Did you see those pictures of Michael Phelps hittin' a bong at a party?



So did I.



Do you think they warrant the intense media circus that has befallen them?



Neither do I.



Dude's what? Twenty-four, -ish, thereabouts?


Find me one red blooded American male in his mid twenties who has not hit a bong. Go on, do it. I'm not saying you can't; I'm saying it will be really effing difficult.

If this guy, dear Mr. Phelps, were not the half-man, half-fish swimming freak of awesomeness that he is, he'd be finishing his senior-ish year in college, where he'd probably shared plenty of face time with those pretty glass tubes.

And nobody would give a shit, except maybe his mother. That's assuming, of course, that she found the photos on someone's Facebook.

Unfortunately for Mr. Phelps, he is in fact a half-fish freak of awesomeness who crushes records, competitors, and walnuts with his delicious washboard abs (and assorted other, equally delicious body parts), and isn't allowed to participate in anything but the most vanilla of recreational activities in his free time. You know, the time he has all to himself?

Which begs the question: WTF?!

Common sense

If your child is playing happily but not necessarily quietly, yelling at him from the other side of the library is not going to help.

Just an observation.